Wisdom from a 4 year old - "Stop... God loves us."

So... this is my 1st blog post ever. I've enjoyed reading the blogs of friends and thought heck... I can do that. So here goes.

This is my son Nathan. He turned 4 years old in March and is a smart little bugger. He is also a pretty funny kid and studies jokes and how to deliver a punch-line. Nathan is obsessed with the movie Cars (and Cars 2) and in his collection of 87 (true exact number) cars from the movie Cars, 36 of them are Lightening McQueens. (I feel the need to defend this over indulgence by pointing out that my husband and I have bought him some of the cars... but most have been acquired as gifts from family and friends that feel he needs more. He's the kind of kind of kid that people like to buy stuff for.)  It would not be an exaggeration to say that he talks about Cars at least twice an hour & will often throw Cars quotes into his dialogue. He always... and I mean always has a car(s) in his hand or one waiting for him to return in his car-seat. This pic is of him at the first 10am showing of Cars 2, as the first kid in the theater, wearing his Lightening McQueen outfit, with Flynn McMissle propped on his knee. 

Now this pic is of Nathan is from when we visited friends in Fall River Mills in early June. I love this photo. He has rib sauce all over his face, Mount Shasta is looking upon us in the background and he is appropriately dressed in a Spiderman costume as any Superhero should be while eating dinner. My boy wears a costume every chance he gets and only wears superhero pajamas. Nathan is a cool kid. He's a little uptight in situations and can be annoyingly Type A for such a little man... but he is mine and I love just about everything about my boy.

Nathan is also very articulate in his vocabulary. And he has recently taught me a life lesson that has changed my perspective of our current circumstance and I hope  will be a life lesson that will leave a lasting impression  upon me as a woman, wife and mother.

Let me set the stage for this life altering moment:

When: About 2 weeks after Eric got laid off from his position at Bayside Auburn. So that would be mid-February 2011.

Time: Late afternoon. Just after Nathan got up from his nap so probably about 4pm.

Location: In our living room in our home in Auburn. I was sitting on the big chair, Eric was on the couch, Nathan was in his room listening to the Cars soundtrack and playing by himself. Baby Leah (7 months old) was napping in her room.

About 2 weeks had passed after Eric had been laid off. The day he was 'released' (a very churchy word for let go) we decided to not make any rush decisions. There was severance to be paid, vacation pay, reimbursement money and even back-owed missing paychecks that were due to us so we knew we had a few months to live comfortably before we would be desperate. But now it was time to start having the discussions about our plans and what we needed to do to get the future going. Honestly, God had given us each individually amazing peace through this time, so we were able to be level headed and remove some of the expected emotion and fear from our decision making. We realized early on that this was one of the few times in life that we 'really' needed to live by faith. And if we lived by fear rather than trusting in God, our faith and testimony would be proven unreal and even a lie to ourselves. This concept is much easier to say and test against yourself than to live out. 

As our discussion about what to do went on it did become emotional at times. Do we put our house on the market or just wait for the bank to come after it? I already had a part-time job, but should I look for full time work? Should that job be in Sacramento where it takes nearly 2 hours to commute to (not to mention hundreds in gas a month) or somewhere in Auburn? Should Eric take whatever little job he could find out there or stay available for networking for a more stable job and picking up the here and there jobs available to him in local ministries? Should we pay thousands a month for Cobra? Should we open a credit card while we still had time? Should we sell a vehicle? Okay, okay... you get the picture. Lots of decisions to be made when you suddenly go from having it all together to having no income (not even unemployment as ministers to not qualify for government unemployment). As our talk went on there were tears, raised voices, crying voices, sarcastic voices, etc. 

And then it happened. 

Our son Nathan, all three and a half feet of toe-headed wisdom walked out into the living room and stood in-between us. He calmly put up both of his arms, one in each direction of us as if he were a policeman directing traffic and said:

"Stop. God loves us."

And we stopped.

It was as if I had never heard that idea in my heart or mind before. It was new and had actual meaning.

I realized if He loves us, He will take care of us.

Since He loves us, this is His intentional plan. 

Since He loves us, maybe this is actually the best thing for our family. 

Since He loves us, there is a purpose in my pain.

Since He loves us, there is likely a lesson He wants us to learn. 

Since He loves us, we could stop... and bask in His love. 

The past 6 months have not been easy. But truly believing that He loves me and my family has changed my perspective of this journey from that of a victim to that of a recipient of His love in the strangest of forms. 

I cherish this quote from The Practice Of The Presence Of God by Brother Lawrence : 

My King is full of mercy and goodness. 

Far from chastising me, He embraces me with love. 

He makes me eat at His table. 

He serves me with His own hands and gives me the key to His treasures. 

He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly, 

in a thousand and a thousand ways. 

And He treats me in all respects as His favorite.

Maybe, just maybe the trials and pains that we are currently journeying through purposely happen to "his favorite" kids. Just sayin. 

(Oh... and by the way. You are His favorite too.)