- For God’s will with my health and that we can accept His will with grace.
- That we could close on the house quickly.
- That the move would go smoothly.
- For provision for our family. I had lined up a few ways to make $ to make ends meet… and well, those plans are obviously now on hold for a while.
- Pray for my husband. He’s a pretty amazing guy and I am so thankful for him. It is in moments like these that I am reminded why I married him. He’s kinda a mess right now as you would expect. Pray God would grant him strength and rest. He has to be 100% at work and at home and I know this is going to be an exhausting season.
- And of course for Nathan and Leah. Life has just totally changed. This is gonna be a challenging time for us all but especially for my precious babies.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
A New Lemon
In May, when we were candidating with the church in Santa Clarita there was a night when we were being interviewed by the Leadership Team while the kids were being babysat by the Senior Pastor’s two adorable daughters. We returned home to happy kids and the girls sharing about their adventures and gushing about just how freaking awesome my amazing kids are (okay, maybe that’s a little over the top description… but wouldn’t you agree?). Anyways, they shared that they were playing a game where Shelby would start a sentence and then have Nathan finish it. Here’s the line that they thought was so adorable:
(Shelby) “When life gives you lemons….”
(Nathan) “I say no thanks!”
Wouldn’t it be great if you could just say “no thanks”?
Well, most of you have been journeying with us over the last several months (years) and watching the Joppa basket of lemons grow and spill over.
Well, we have a new lemon.
It’s one I wish I could say “no thanks” to.
But… we can’t.
On Tuesday, I went to the doctor for a second biopsy on a lump that I had found.
On Wednesday, the doctor called to let me know it is in fact cancerous.
Today we had a consultation with the surgeon and he gave us the low down.
So… here’s the low down:
They do not know for sure if I have breast cancer or some other type of cancer. They do know that it is a aggressive, quickly-multiplying cancer – the biopsy has been sent to a different lab for additional study. We will proceed as if I have breast cancer due to the location of the lump. Tomorrow morning I will get a call to schedule the surgery, which will likely happen next week. They will perform a lumpectomy, and remove a lymph node. While I sleep, they will test the node. If it has cancer (meaning the cancer has spread), they will remove the entire lymph-node-chain-thing on my entire right side and I will wake up with a drainage tube sticking out of my arm. If I wake up with no tube, I can smile and breathe. This would mean the cancer has not spread and was just in the one tumor. After however long it takes to recover from surgery (couple of weeks), I will begin both radiation and chemotherapy. If Kaiser cannot identify what kind of cancer is in the mass, it will then be sent to Stanford or Univ. San Francisco to be studied and identified. If it is another type of cancer beside breast cancer, we will begin round two with treatment specific to that type of cancer.
So that’s it. That’s all we know. It has been an exhausting 3 days and I really want to sleep. I also just want to cuddle with my dog and lay in my own bed. We could very well be signing papers and moving into our home in the next week – but for sure we will be in by Sept. 16th. I am now living for that moment and just can’t wait to give Nathan a bedroom again and to bring all of his toys out of storage. See… there is a lot going on in my mind… can you blame me for not being able to sleep?
So far, I am not mad at God. I am choosing to believe that
‘He loves me’ and that ‘He is good’
I expect that there will be days when I feel different. I know that I am still in shock and will go through an array of emotions. I am working to be positive and to value every minute I have with my family and those close to me.
It’s just all pretty surreal right now.
Here’s how you can pray:
Love each and every one of you,
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