To Love and To Cherish

For my Face Book status update on 9/11 I had written: “9/11 for me: Got in the car for work & heard the news on the radio. My brother was just in his 2nd week of boot camp. What was his 'adventure' became my family’s worst fear. Terrified for him & our country. I knew that day I would be marrying Joppa.”

About two hours later on Sunday morning Eric called me and asked why was it that on that day did I knew I would marry him? The answer was not mushy or sweet or even romantic. My answer was simple, “Cause I just needed you.”

I remember reading somewhere that there were more marriages in 2002 in the United States than in any other single year recorded. We were one of those weddings. Clearly, the fall of the Twin Towers and attacks on our country encouraged many people, like us, to tie the knot and get busy living life.

This weekend Eric had the pleasure of officiating the wedding of our friends Mike and Brooke. We had been looking forward all year to this event. Not only were we thrilled to get to be a part of and witness the marriage of two great people, but also it was to be held in gorgeous San Luis Obispo so we were excited for a weekend away in one of the most beautiful of places. When we learned of my cancer and surgery Eric called at give notice that he was not sure he could do the ceremony. After I woke up ‘tube-free’, we discussed it and decided that he would go to the ceremony and I would stay home. The drive & festivities would just be too much to handle while recovering from surgery. Eric went and spent the weekend solo in a lovely Victorian-Country love nest, eating fine food and enjoying an over-the-top amazing wedding that I’ve heard could easily appear on TLC. I snuggled with my little superhero & baby girl and enjoyed watching them splash in the kiddie pool… its’ all good.

Knowing that Eric would be leading Mike and Brooke in their vows it got me thinking about marriage and my own wedding vows.

“For better, for worse,


For richer, for poorer,


In sickness and in health,


To love and to cherish,


'Till death do us part."

We’ve been better and richer and healthier. However, the worse and poorer and sickness part is really what has made our marriage what it is today. I can’t honestly say that I have enjoyed being worse off and poor and sick… but I’ve found that when I/you view life as a puzzle and all the ups and downs as little pieces, you eventually end up with a pretty lovely picture if you do it right.

I recently saw a quote by Doug Larson that reads:

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that

sometimes the better comes after the worse.”

In a very strange way, I think we are fortunate to be getting this ‘worse’ junk out of the way. (I do hope.) Cause right now we get to soak in the ”love and to cherish” part of the vows.

I knew on 9/11 that I needed Joppa. And now I know why. He is my strength, coach, personal comedian, protector, provider, love, and all round best friend.

Aug. 2011 - Our 9th Anniversary trip.
Sailing on the San francisco Bay!

In keeping with my commitment to write this blog in honesty and transparency I might need to write about what we now jokingly call “The Screw Driver Incident of 2006”. I’ll never tell a young bride that marriage is all easy. In fact, I am more likely to quote my girlfriend (to remain nameless in case her husband is reading this) and say “the white dress is a lie”. Cause really marriage is work.

But it’s good work if you can get it.

Saw this on a plaque at Tuesday Morning and loved it!

“Fool! Don't you see now that I could have poisoned you a hundred times had had I been able to live without you.”

- Cleopatra, 69 BC – 30 BC

**** Oh, by the way… If you wondering if my brother was able to attend our wedding the answer is no. You see soldiers don’t get to take the weekend off for fancy parties. Therefore, when you thank a solider for their sacrifices… know that their sacrifice is great. They are basically giving up their lives even while still living them.